What Day is Better?
by Keep Calm and Stay Heroic
Summary: Sideswipe finds out about a human holiday.  It all just goes down-hill from there...
1. What's April Fools?

A/N: I've had this idea floating around for a while... just waited for the correct time to post ;P

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><p>What day is better?<p>

March 31

Sideswipe clicked the TV remote simultaneously in the rec room. Seriously, must there be so many channels? He was already in the 20,000's, and there seemed to be no end. Was there a conspiracy to bore him to death? Was he going in a channel circle? He was so engrossed in the flicking lights of the screen he didn't notice the two humans walk in.

"But, I'm telling you, son! If we tell Sideswipe about…tomorrow, then the Ark'll be in shambles! Prowl might just offline from the pranks!" Sparkplug stomped his foot in front of his son, who just smiled and waved his hand.

"Yeah, that's basically the point. It'd be hilarious to see what he'd do!"Spike reasoned with the elder Witwicky, as he had been doing for the last 3 hours.

Sparkplug just grunted, finally ending the conversation with an "I don't really care anymore…"

Spike smiled and went over to Sideswipe.

"Hey, Sideswipe, I need to ask you something." Spike waved his arm in front of the television to get the warrior's attention.

Said mech put down the controller. "Yeah, Spike?"

"You gonna do anything for tomorrow?"

"Why?" the red mech wondered out-loud, "Some human holiday again? It was just St. Patrick's day three weeks ago…"

"Oh, you're gonna like this holiday a lot more than the last one…It's called April Fool's Day." The human smirked.

"And…why should I care? What's it about?" Sideswipe asked.

Spike put his hands on his hips and leaned forward like he had a secret before answering. "Pranks."

And the devilish smile that grew onto Sideswipe's faceplate might have sent Unicron running for cover, screaming like Starscream.

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><p>I don't know if I should continue this, so it all depends on how many reviews I get...<p> 


	2. 1: Prowl

Ch 1: Prowl

March 31st, 2300 hours

Prowl walked into his quarters and promptly face-planted. He liked doing reports, but not prying bots off each other in hand brawls across the ARK. The twins and a couple of the minibots were at it ALL DAY LONG. He barely got any work done was actual paper work…only 70 out of 80 reports! That was horrible!

He crawled over to his recharge berth, and went into recharge. Of course, he didn't notice a pair of violet optics staring at him through the darkness of the room. He didn't notice the snickering, nor the "Part one is good…"

He also didn't notice footsteps of a bot trying to quietly walk out of his room…

xXxXxXxXxXx

March 31st, 2400 hours

Ratchet put down his tools and grabbed his energon cube from the counter. A good day's work, nothing to major (well, except for having to fix Cliffjumper and Sunstreaker. Again.) and everything was still in his medbay. This seems a bit tame for Sideswipe…, he thought, but shrugged it off.

The ambulance walked out of the medbay, turning off the lights just as a pair of black and red peds fell softly onto the floor, grabbed all of the doc's wrenches, and left.

XXxXxXxXxXx

April 1st, 0600 hours

As soon as he onlined, Prowl knew something was wrong. He got up, but something was stuck in his elbow joint. He stood, and felt something locking in his knee. Internal scans found nothing wrong, so why…?

And then, he heard a loud below from the direction of the medbay. "WHERE THE FRAG DID ALL OF MY WRENCHES GO?" Of course, Ratchet.

Now, Prowl knew something was up. He looked in the mirror…and sighed. From helm to peds, he was covered in wrenches, all engraved with a "Ratchet" on the side. "Sideswipe…"

He tried to pull one off, but it wouldn't budge. That's odd, he thought, isn't it only super glue? He tried again, but with the same results. Then he felt something hit his back. He reached his hand back, and found he was hit by a datapad, that was now stuck to one of his doorwings. Then, he was hit by another. And then another, another, SO…MANY…DATAPADS…. One even hit him in the face. And this one, he could read.

_April Fools, Prowl!_

_From- Sideswipe_

_P.S. Get ready…_

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><p><em>AN: BTW, if you didn't notice, Prowl is getting whacked by some of the hundreds of datapads he haas in his room because he is magnetized. That is also why he can't get any off...IDK if this is funny, but it would be interesting to see!_


	3. 2: Ratchet

_A/N: Lol... CST's are commin' up tomorrow, and I need a major stress reliever. Voaila! ...sorry i spelled that wrong._

_Prowl: You should have used spell check..._

_Lambogirl: whatever...I wish I owned Transformers. If I did, Sideswipe would still have a twin and they would still be Lamborghinis'. Enjoy!_

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><p>Ch 2: Ratchet<p>

April 1st, 0700

Ratchet poked his head inside of Prowl's quarters when he heard the yell. "RATCHET!"

"WHAT THE FRAG DO YA WANT, YOU PIT-SLAGGIN –"

And then he realized Prowl was covered in a metal cocoon. But not regular metal. No, the SIC was covered in his wrenches, and all of the datapads that were in his room at the time (which probably was a lot). Ratchet felt his optic twitch at the answer to his everyday question: how much work will he have today?

The medic sighed and dragged the metal oval thing back to the med-bay, trying to pry off as many datapads as he can. He only got one off, the one that covered Prowl's offline face.

_April Fools, Prowl!_

_Form-Sideswipe_

_P.S. Get ready…_

The CMO growled a little bit, and placed the datapad down for evidence later. Now, to pry all of this magnetic stuff off…

xXxXxXxXxXx

April 1st, 0900

It was taking forever to rip those fragging metal scraps off of him. Good, this was just what Sideswipe wanted. While Ratchet was working on Prowl, he would set up the next prank…

xXxXxXxXxXx

Ratchet put down the chainsaw and started using his own hands to pry off another datapad. Then the alarms went off, signaling a Decepticon attack.

_"All available Autobots please report to Teleetran-1. Ratchet, prep the medbay."_

The red and white medic growled and stopped working on Prowl. He needed to get the medbay ready for the injured.

xXxXxXxXxXx

April 1st, 1200

As he cleared a couple of berths off and started arranging tools, he thought about the message. Usually, he would be joining Optimus to the battle to take care of the wounded and the fatally wounded. So, why was he, all of a sudden, being asked to stay here? He stood up to grab an energon cube from the rec room, before everyone else got here.

He walked all the way down the long hall…and found the rec room filled with off-duty bots. Literally, everyone was there. Ironhide and Trailbreaker were having an arm wrestling match in the middle of the room, surrounded by the majority of the Autobots. Sunstreaker was sitting with Bluestreak on the couch in front of the TV, Hound and Beachcomber were deep in discussion about some random forest while Mirage looked at both other bots with confused expressions, and Jazz and Blaster were playing some random pop/hip hop music from their series of amplifiers. Their own leader, Optimus Prime, was betting against Smokescreen that Ironhide would win the match.

"WHAT THE FRAGGING HELL ARE YOU ALL STILL DOING HERE?" the outraged medic screamed, making all sensible bots jump and all others turn. "YOU ALL WERE ON A MISSION!"

Prime slowly walked towards the medic. "What…mission? There were no alarms, and the Decepticons just threw a raid two days ago. It's doubtful that another would be launched so soon…"

He ducked as a wrench nearly collided with his helm, hitting Ironhide instead. "Wha's gotten into ya, doc?" the weapons specialist yelled, avoiding another wrench as Prime stayed glued to the ground.

"THE ALARM WENT OFF! IT WENT OFF IN MY MEDBAY, AND YOU, ", and Ratchet pointed to the grounded prime, "ORDERED ALL AUTOBOTS TO A MEETING, AND TOLD ME TO SET UP MEDBAY!"

"Is that why you haven't come out of your la-I MEAN MEDBAY for the past three hours?" Bumblebee asked.

The CMO just stared at the minibots and said, none too nicely, "DUH."

Optimus finally gained the courage to stand upright. "Ratchet…the alarms never went off…"

Ratchet thought for a moment, growled, then stalked up to a scared-looking Sunstreaker.

"Where's your pit-spawned brother?" the white and red asked, optics almost glowing red from anger.

"I-I-," the front-liner gulped (can they do that?) "I haven't seen him all day."

The ambulance smiled; it looked demonic. "Oh, really?"

"Y-Yes…?"

CLANG

Apparently that was the wrong answer, because Ratchet slapped Sunstreaker upside the helm and started screaming so loud and fast, what he was saying was incomprehensible. All anyone knew was that he was dragging Sunstreaker, kicking and screaming, to medbay. And everyone was following.

Right when they got there, Sunstreaker started whining about how he didn't know where his idiot was, how Ratchet messed up his paint, and how his head hurt now. Of course, Ratchet ignored his comments and started grounding him for information.

"How the hell am I supposed to know where the frag he is?"

"USE YOUR SPARK BOND, FOR PRIMUS SAKE!"

"…oh, yeah."

And then, one of the datapads pulled off Prowl started lighting up, and some of the words changed. Ratchet picked it up, and tilted it so everyone could see.

_April Fools, Hatchet!_

_From-Sideswipe_

_P.S. Sunny ain't gonna help you much. :P_

"'Sunny ain't gonna help you much'…what the frag does that mean?" Ironhide yelled, and soon, arguments started from all over about what the message meant. But only one mech fully understood what the last sentence meant.

"I'm gonna go recharge…I had all night patrol last night." Sunstreaker jumped off the berth, and started calmly walking towards the door. Of course, in all the chaos, no one noticed him leave.

When he got to his quarters completely unscathed (except for some scrapes and a dent in his helm from the slap), he passed out on the berth, from exhaustion or other, but he knew one thing. Sideswipe was going to die by their lovely medic.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Somewhere no one knows…

The red hellion snickered as he watched the chaos of the ARK from the video cameras he set up all around. Good thing Sunstreaker was down for the count, because he would have been caught if he wasn't.

Sideswipe took out a datapad, and put a check mark next to the second line. This was his list of people he needed to prank by the day's end.

_1. Prowl_

_2. Ratchet_

_3. Optimus Prime_

_4. Prowl (again)_

_5. Ironhide_

_6. Ratchet (again)_

_7. Cliffjumper_

_8. Red Alert_

Oh boy, this would be fun. Perfect blackmail opportunity. He needed to remember to thank Spike later for telling him about this day.

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><p><em>AN: Took me long enought to get this posted...my friend pulled something like this on me, and it seemed funny at the time. Ya gotta love datapads._

_Prowl: I DO!_

_Lambogirl:...well, you get prank-by-datapad, so I'm amazed you still like them...oh well, reviews please! And ideas are welcome on our next victim, Optimus Prime!_

_OP: WHAT?_


	4. 3: Optimus Prime

_A/N: Lol, Prime…Prime…How to torture Optimus Prime…_

_Megatron: OOH! OOH! *starts waving hand wildly to get LamboGirl666's attention*_

_LamboGirl666: Down. OOOOOH! IDEA MOMENT!_

_All Decepticons: Aww…._

_I wish, severely, that I own Transformers._

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><p>Ch 3: Optimus Prime<p>

April 1st, 1230

Now, everyone was on high alert. Not because of a Decepticon threat. Not because of Wheeljack's new invention (which actually hadn't blown up…yet). Not because of Ratchet being in a bad mood (he is, just that's not the reason). No, they are all worried that each of them is the next target for Sideswipe's next prank.

Of course, some bots didn't care, so long as they got a kick outta it. Smokescreen even set up a betting pool for the next victim; he was sure he'd never be pranked. He and Sides are buddies.

No one thought it would be this…subtle before.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Optimus Prime walked out of the med bay after clearing everything and calming Ratchet. If he could say it while sounding dignified, he would say that Ratchet probably WAS the pit-master. …or, at least, his creation. Whatever evil being he was, that mech could throw a wrench. Hard.

He vented a sigh, and walked silently into the rec room for a cube of energon…

xXxXxXxXxXx

Sideswipe grinned helm horn to helm horn as he saw their leader walk away from his quarters and office. He'd need to act fast, but he should be able, with enough luck, get their leader into stasis lock from fritzed logic chips…

And so he started his next devious act.

xXxXxXxXxXx

April 1st, 0100

Optimus was leaving the rec room, charged with energon and ready to start on the amass pile of reports and such, all lovingly placed in a perfectly straight column by his SIC, Prowl. Wait…Prowl was in medbay. His reports were handed in by Jazz or Ironhide, that meant. He sighed heavily in realization. More work for him.

But, as the automatic door slid open, something didn't feel right. His walls were colored another color other than orange. A quick closer zoom revealed that, on the wall behind his desk, there was…a picture of a naked female human? What the frag? He was utterly disgusted by the lack of grace in her posture, the lack of sanity in her face, heck, and the lack of CLOTHES on her body! She was flat out nude! The 18-wheeler commander took an involuntary step back, away from the naked woman. He turned and was about to start running as the door slid shut in front of his faceplates, revealing another bare-skinned human. This picture was even worse than the original, as she was laying down with her legs spread apart.

He offlined is optics and typed the override code for the door. It, of course, slid open quietly, and the fearless leader of the righteous Autobots took off running, his tailpipe between his legs. When he got to his quarters, at almost the exact opposite end of the ship, he vented deeply, onlined his optics…and screamed.

Someone found Transformers porn, had printed life-sized images of it, and put the posters up all over in Optimus's quarters. There was even a false depiction of Elita-1 with her armor off on recharge berth.

The frizzing sound of his logic chips where hard to ignore. Of course, he didn't do anything because he was too dumbfounded and scarred to move. The only thing he could do was glitch, offline, and fall to the floor. The sound of their leader hitting the ground was what made all online bots jump.

xXxXxXxXxXx

Somewhere…

Sideswipe's fuel pump nearly stopped from too much laughter. He was dead later, but it would be so worth it. And, Optimus's eyes when he saw those pictures…The red twin grinned.

Thank humanity for porn.

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><p><em>AN: In actuality, i hate porn with all of my life. Just wanted to see how Optimus liked it. ;)_

_Optimus Prime; You...You...fiend! I died! Well, I would have died!_

_Megatron: That'll be the day..._

_LamboGirl666: Review! I want 6 before I put up the next chapter! 6 REVIEWS, PEOPLE!_


	5. Sorry -

Hey, this is KCaSH here,

A year ago, I gota new computer because my old one broke down. I have tried a bunch of times to get the stuff off of my old one onto this one, but it hasn't worked, and all of my notes for a few of these stories (specifically my Transformers stories) were on there. I can't remember where any of these were going and what was going to happen, plus my motivation is sorta dead for those stories. :/ these are probably done, unless I get inspiration or something again. this same message will be on a few stories, because i lost a quite a couple of notes.

Sorry -;


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